Making a Man out of Steven
by CrystalDinnerGuest
Summary: Steven has a lot of growing up to do and the Crystal Gems are here to help. A lot cleaner than it sounds. This is a story arc connected to A life Together, A Perfect Christmas and Peridot vs. Connie.
1. Chapter 1

Making a Man out of Steven Part 1

 _Steven has a lot of growing up to do and the Gems are here to help. A lot cleaner than it sounds_

Disclaimer: I don't own Steven Universe that pleasure belongs to Rebecca Sugar

Steven listened to the gems talking in his bed while he was supposed to be asleep.

"Steven needs to grow up fast," announced Garnet." The world is going to change and he needs to be ready."

"Garnet, we're putting him through training how much faster can we go," said Pearl.

"Gems age by experiences lived, look at Amethyst she didn't reach puberty until Rose started seeing Greg." said Garnet. "We coddled her. Now look at you Peridot less than a century old and already growing up. Far more capable than Amethyst at that age."

Amethyst frowned.

Garnet continued, "We need to give Steven more responsibilities and stop treating him like a child. Here's what we're going to do…."

Steven listened to the plans they made in his stead. He didn't realize the Earth was in such bad shape. After hearing enough, he fell into an uneasy sleep.

The next morning, he awoke to see Pearl waiting for him alone. This was not good, Pearl was always the one to give him bad news, in fact she was charged with doing everything that was unpleasant.

The pale gem looked distinctly uncomfortable, "Garnet has chosen me to speak to you on an important matter. There are going to be some big changes in this house and you're going to have to take more responsibilities."

"It's about the Cluster isn't it?"

"How much do you know?"

"I heard some while you were all talking together last night. Tell me how bad is it. Look if you want me to grow up then I need to know everything, be more involved. Pearl so no sugar coating this time."

Steven sat in silence as he listened to Pearl describe what could happen. The devastation, the lives lost and civilization changed forever. He also listened to how people could change during disasters sometimes bringing out the best and more often than not bringing out the worst.

"That sounds horrible how can anybody possibly be prepared for that?" gasped Steven.

"Nobody really but you get ready by dealing with one problem at a time," sighed Pearl.

"Say where's Peridot? I was hoping she and I could share some breakfast and then I could show her the sights of Earth."

"Steven from now on you need to make your own breakfast. You'll be our leader someday and you need to start taking charge."

"Well doesn't a leader take care of his followers?"

So for the next few days while Peridot's arm healed after a botched training exercise Steven took care of Peridot. He took her to the Big Donut once, the library several times. Once he tried to patch things up between Peridot and Connie when the gem mutants attacked leaving the beach house trashed and Steven, Amethyst and Peridot drunk or something. That meant staying in the farmhouse from now on.

Garnet frowned as Steven fawned over their prisoner. They were getting far too close for her comfort. If Steven was to become the great leader, he was destined to be he needed to know how things are. So while Peridot was off with Pearl retrieving gem tech or something Garnet was an opening and took it.

"Garnet, I've been meaning to talk to you," said Steven cheerily.

"You have? Well I want to talk to you,"

"It's about Peridot both," said in unison.

"You've been mean er harsh to Peridot. I mean as soon as everybody's back was turned you placed her right back into the barn and she has no room of her own at the temple."

"Steven, Peridot is not your friend. She is in fact, a prisoner of war and cannot be trusted in the inner circle. The only reason she's not bubbled at the temple is because we need her."

"Don't you think she knows that! Look work on the drill would proceed much more quickly if Peridot had some assurances of her future."

"Well I would like some assurances from her. She has shown no loyalty to us she won't even get rid or her diamonds on her uniform."

"For a gem with 3 eyes and future vision you sure are blind. Very I will do something about the situation myself."

"Steven don't you dare go over my head on this."

"I must if I am to be your leader I need to make decisions on my own." Did his voice just crack?

This event more than anything made Garnet back off. As the 3 eyed Gem watched the boy march off she could see his body was just a little more toned. Well teenaged rebellion was part of growing up.

The young man marched into the barn. He scanned the spare parts from earth until he found what he was looking for. He took a file and set off to work. When he was satisfied with his handy work he stepped out of the barn.

"Amethyst, get the car I need to go back to the beach house," he called out.

It was dark when Peridot and Pearl finally warped back. The pair were laughing as they held bundles of stuff. Peridot was even wearing an I love NY T-shirt.

"Pearl that parts store in York was amazing and that antiquities store who would have thought that -oh hi Steven," said Peridot. Steven loved to see her smile.

"Steven we were just in a settlement buying some supplies," said Pearl looking flustered.

"That's no problem you're allowed to have fun on missions. Anyway I came to see you Peridot," said Steven.

"Me what would you want with me?" Peridot blushed it was so cute.

"All of you come outside, Peridot I want to show you something," ordered Steven.

He led them all to Peridot's sandcastle. Amethyst waved to them as she put the last touches on the building. Now there were actually wooden doors on the gate and domicile itself.

With a flourish Steven pulled out a triangular piece of glass and glued onto the front door. Peridot gasped and tears formed in her eyes. It was probably to do with the playful punch that Amethyst gave her on the arm.

The young man continued, "This expresses the way we all feel. Peridot you're a member of our team and it's time you were treated like it. So from now on you have your own place just like the rest of us."

Peridot just stood there not moving. Amethyst was about to scold her when she waved her fingers in front of the green gem. Peridot was out of it.

"Nice going you broke Peridot," said Amethyst sarcastically.

Ignoring the stunned technician. Steven turned to Pearl, "Pearl I was hoping you would have come in earlier. I want to start seriously pursuing an education."

"Steven you tried school it didn't work out."

"Well there is such a thing as home schooling and if education helped Peridot develop quickly then maybe it can do the same for me" said Steven.

It was getting late so Amethyst carried the still stunned gem back into the car. In the days to come Pearl picked up tests, folders and books on education. It was as Steven had feared. He was way behind in his learning even for his apparent age. The weather was turning horrible anyways and they were no longer staying at the beach house so Steven holed himself up in his room and hit the books. Man this was so hard, especially keeping his concentration. Maybe it was time for some TV or not. He picked up the small tv and placed it outside his room. Later on during the evening Amethyst came up with a tray of food.

"I'm proud of you," she coughed.

Setting Things Right

For as long as Steven could remember Pearl was always working, either tending to him or repairing something. Once a month every Friday she would go on a special solo mission. He never really questioned it when he was younger but now he did. Especially when Peridot brought up Pearl's rank on Homeworld.

He saw Garnet drinking a cup of coffee, all the other gems were busy. Peridot was working on the drill, Amethyst was supervising and Pearl was out grocery shopping. Steven approached Garnet cautiously. He did not know how to say this.

"Garnet, I have something to say. It's about what Peridot said," Steven said hesitantly.

"I'm not surprised. You shouldn't listen to too much Peridot says," said Garnet.

"No I mean yes. It's about Pearl being a servant and I notice that Pearl is working all the time every time I see her. I never see her have any fun."

"Of course she does, when she hangs out with you."

"Not that, time to herself. I mean you and Amethyst do fun things by yourself but not Pearl even before the drill. It's like she is a servant even though you say she's not."

"Steven Pearl likes doing these things, it's the way she was made. She couldn't imagine doing something unless it was constructive."

That seemed to satisfy him until he saw Pearl in the barn talking to Peridot. The pale gem seemed so sad. Peridot just sat and listened holding Pearl's hand.

"…I'm always so tired. If it's not one thing, it's another and its always 'for Steven'. I mean why can't Garnet do the shopping or Amethyst the laundry. I miss my grotto I miss swimming."

Peridot muttered something sympathetic. It was at that time Steven decided to enter.

"Oh Steven we were just," said a flustered Pearl.

"That's all right you deserve a rest," said Steven magnanimously. "Tell you what how about we head into town."

"Steven there's work to be done and we can't leave Peridot alone."

The little gem muttered something unsavory.

"You know as well as I Garnet would never allow you to be unsupervised," reminded Pearl gently.

From outside the barn Garnet called out, "Hey Pearl wrap things up with Peridot and don't forget about your monthly mission tonight."

A look of pure hatred appeared on Pearl's face, "Peridot, Steven get in the car. It's time I did something for myself."

On the ride to Beach City Pearl was filled with brimming anger. The two children dared not speak. As they got closer and closer Pearl seemed to calm down. When they finally got to the beach house Pearl seemed back to her normal self.

Steven decided to risk it," uh Pearl I'm really hungry as we kinda skipped lunch. Could we go to the boardwalk and get something to eat?"

It was starting to get cold as they walked to the boardwalk but Steven decided not to say anything. It was the end of the tourist season and most of the restaurants were closed that left one place open, Beach City Fries.

"Hi Peedee, Mr. Fryman got any fry bits for me?" called out Steven.

"Hey Steven who's your little friend," said Peedee.

Steven did not like the way Peede was looking at Peridot. Neither did Peridot as she hid behind his shoulder. Mr. Fryman ignored this as he took Pearl's money and then poured some fries into a basket for Steven. Some were stuck so he pulled then out with his hands.

"You really shouldn't handle money and prepare food. Not without washing your hands," said Pearl.

"You know for a stripper you really are uppity. Tell me is your little girl going to follow in your footsteps?" said Fryman maliciously.

"Pearl, what's he talking about," Steven could feel tears forming.

Fryman laughed," oh she hasn't told you. Tell me Steven have you heard of the Happy Clam?"

Pearl just ran as fast as she could away from the boardwalk and away from the Frymans. The fry bits no longer tasted good. In fact, for the rest of his life Steven no longer enjoyed the taste of fried foods. Steven tried to run after her, but Peridot just held him back shaking her head. The little technician could see Pearl needed to be alone.

Peridot stood by stiffly, "Steven you're old enough to drive?"

"Doesn't matter Pearl has the keys," said Steven numbly.

The pair walked slowly back to the beach house. When they got in Steven opened the fridge to find something to eat. There was not much as most of the food went to the farm house now. That was okay Steven wasn't hungry anymore. A couple of hours later Steven tried reaching Pearl on the phone. The gem wasn't answering.

When it got dark Steven heard a knock on the door. Peridot took the initiative and opened it hoping it was Pearl. It was not. There waiting was a very distraught and embarrassed Ronaldo.

"I just heard what my father said to you and I am truly sorry," said the fat boy.

It must have been bad because Ronaldo was ignoring the green alien standing right in front of him. He went inside.

Ronaldo continued, "Pearl is one of the bravest people I know. My father had no right to say those things and if you want me to do anything."

"Is it true?" growled Steven.

"Steven you must realize that fighting monsters isn't exactly profitable."

"Is it true?"

"Yes, Steven it is I'm afraid, I'm sorry you had to find out this way," sighed Ronaldo.

This time Peridot spoke up, "Do you mean that the Crystal Gems have been risking their lives with no compensation? That that isn't fair."

"Peridot things work differently here on earth," said Steven.

"I know that. Steven I don't know what the gems told you about Homeworld but one thing I can tell you. If you perform a service for Homeworld you end up being compensated," said a bewildered Peridot.

"So nobody does anything in Homeworld without expecting a profit? That's selfish," asked Ronaldo.

Peridot countered, "That makes sense, if you endanger yourself it is only right that you get a reward. Besides some of our greatest Gem heroes never even survived to receive their reward. The gems look after the world and Steven, isn't it right the world looks after them?"

Steven was feeling lightheaded. He couldn't hear half of what was being said. There was only one thought in his mind.

"I want to see for myself," said Steven.

"Er come again?" asked Ronaldo.

"I said I want to see for myself," shouted Steven.

"Okay, I can't let you in there but the Happy Clam closes at 2 am."

At around 1:30 they all bundled into Ronaldo's car. They headed inland on the other side of town as Pearl liked to call it the wrong side of the tracks. The Happy Clam was a big box of a building. It looked like an oversized boathouse only it had no windows. The forest green wood siding only served to give it a cheap air. The atmosphere in the car was no better. Even Ronaldo could feel the rage and hurt burning off of Steven as he sat next to him in the front seat.

In desperation he turned to Peridot, "You look like the alien who sent a distress signal a few months ago."

"It was me. I lost my limb enhancers," replied the little gem.

"No time for chit chat here she comes," barked Steven.

It was indeed Pearl, she wore a trench coat and a hat as if ashamed but her pointy nose gave her away. Around her were other young women some of them still in stage makeup.

Steven cried her name as he ran out the car. She tried to hide somewhere but it was too late.

"Why Pearl?" Steven asked in a hurt voice. "Isn't Dad's money enough."

The other women looked uncomfortable.

Pearl sobbed, "Oh Steven you must be so ashamed of me but no your father's money isn't enough. There are bills to pay, the materials to fix the farmhouse and the property damage incurred when we fight in beach city."

"But you're smart Pearl why can't you do something else?"

"Steven any other work is a full time job I wouldn't have time to do anything else. With the tips I can support us doing this once a month."

Then it all made sense the leering looks the mayor gave. The way half the men in Beach City felt uncomfortable around Pearl when she was the least intimidating gem of the lot.

"I for one have lost all respect for Garnet and Amethyst," stated Peridot. "You keep saying how good you are. But good people don't degrade their friends like this"

Pearl said calmly, "Peridot things are.."

"Different on Earth I know. I'm reminded of that every single day. But this is how you would treat a Pearl on Homeworld. If they're so fond of money let them earn themselves," ranted the little gem."

"Pearl I don't want you doing this anymore," said Steven.

"But Steven how are we going to make ends meet?" asked Pearl.

"We'll figure that out, together. Let's go home," said Steven.

It was early dawn when Pearl and the children reached home. The farmhouse was quiet when Steven slammed the car door loudly. He marched right in, Pearl and Peridot trailing in after him. Amethyst had made a huge sandwich and Garnet was drinking coffee like nothing happened.

It was time to give his speech. Steven began, "Right you two I know all about Pearl's monthly missions. From now on we are making some much needed changes." A pimple appeared on the young man's face.


	2. Chapter 2

The Talk

The day after Connie botched their mission Pearl drove Steven into town. She was ominously silent as they went into town. She said nothing as she dropped Steven at his father's carwash. Greg was standing there with a dark look on his face. He motioned to a deck chair and Steven reluctantly sat down.

"This is about the Connie thing isn't it," sighed Steven.

"Yes Peridot told the Gems everything. You're not in any trouble and I'm not angry at you. I'm just angry."

"Oh Dad it was just awful. Connie was acting all weird. I mean she's just a little girl I see that now."

"I think it's time I gave you the talk."

"Daad you already did. Even about the birth control bits," the boy blushed. He stared down at his feet.

"I mean the other talk about feelings and relationships."

Steven looked the question was in his eyes. Greg continued, "First off women are people. You cannot own them. That's a lesson that many guys I know never caught on. There are their own persons with thoughts and needs of their own.

The gems are trying to make you grow up I'm not against it but growing up means dealing with thoughts and feelings that are sometimes disturbing. I'm proud of the way you dealt with the Connie situation. She's a little girl I don't know what was going through her head but the Gems insisted on not telling her parents. I would have.

When it comes to pursuing a woman there are three things you should follow. First off if you are attracted to a girl you should make sure you like and respect her before pursuing a relationship. Secondly take it slow before becoming physical you need to develop a bond before doing that. And finally make sure she's ready for intimacy before you even start."

"How do I do that?"

"Well with your mother and I, we went on dates for months before I tried to fuse with her. After our talk Rose saw me as a real person and not just an amusement. Then we started to get serious. It was not easy, we had our misunderstandings. I remember when I first proposed to your mother. I found this ring with a beautiful emerald. It ended up she was one of Rose's old friends. Let me tell say you do not want to give the remains of a dead friend as a love gift. It all worked out in the end and our relationship ended up being stronger. Remember even if you are in love you will have the occasional fight and bad times but if you care about this person you ride it out come to an understanding.

Oh and one other thing, Steven you are very strong. More so than any human you should never use your strength to hurt or to force women. Never"

"I think I understand but I've never been on a proper date. I mean when I hung around Connie we were just having fun like kids. I mean I've never really done adult stuff before. Thanks Dad, for the talk."

When he left his father his head was spinning with the new information he had to process. On autopilot he found himself at the Big Donut.

"Whoa what happened to you," asked a strangely sympathetic Lars.

"Dad just gave me the talk. The one about girls. It made me realize that I really don't know anything about dating," said Steven sadly.

"Well you've come to the right place just ask the dating master right here," Lars leered and pointed at himself.

Sadie laughed, "No you're not. Steven if you want to know anything about dating you should ask a woman."

"That's a great idea, I'll go on a practice date," Stars appeared in Steven's eyes. "Sadie would you like to go on a practice date with me."

Lars did a double take. Sadie blinked a couple times.

"Sure why not?" said Sadie.

"That's' great," blurted out Steven. "Er what do you like to do?"

That evening when Pearl took him home. Steven announced the good news in the barn where everybody was working. "I had a talk with Dad and I realize I don't know much about girls. So I'm taking Sadie out for a date."

Peridot muttered something in gemmish. She dropped the welder and walked away.

"Er Steven money's a bit tight right now," said Pearl hesitantly.

"I know. I've got it all planned. We'll go out on Tuesday half price movie night and then we'll go to that new restaurant that everybody talks about, y'know the Manchurian Chinese restaurant. I'll order something cheap and Sadie doesn't drink so we should be fine."

"Remember Steven just have fun, okay," said Garnet.

In the days coming up Peridot was in a bad mood. She avoided Steven as much as possible and barely spoke. Amethyst did enough speaking for them all.

"Okay Steven believe it or not I've been on many dates," bragged Amethyst. "So here are a few pointers. First off you should dress a little nicer than you normally do. Shoes instead of sandals that sort of thing. Secondly get her some flowers it doesn't have to be expensive just tasty like Mums, or daisies. The most important thing is to treat her like a lady."

She continued on and on with her advice trailing after him. When the big day came Pearl fussed over him like a mother hen. She kept checking his outfit which consisted of a polo shirt, jacket and canvas sneakers.

"Oh, Steven your first real date. I'm so excited," gushed Pearl.

"Pearl you're embarrassing me," said Steven.

Before Pearl and Steven left Garnet called out to them.

"Steven remember treat her like a lady," said the cube headed gem.

When she was confident Steven and Pearl had left Peridot crept up to Steven's bicycle. A bike couldn't possibly follow a car but Peridot had heard everything about Steven's and Sadie itinerary and knew exactly where and when they'll be. If she kept to the side roads Pearl and Steven couldn't possibly find out she was following them. The green gem was extremely jealous. Now that Connie disgraced herself Peridot thought she had a chance with Steven but the hybrid had another girl waiting in the wings. What had she got that Peridot didn't? Well maybe after some surveillance she'd just find out.

They stopped off at a supermarket to buy a bouquet of flowers for Sadie. Then Pearl dropped Steven off at Sadie's door.

Sadie paced back on forth in the living room. Never before had she felt so nervous even when going out with Lars. Steven was nice but Sadie never considered him romantically. So why had she said yes?

There came a knock at the door. Her mother opened it revealing the small form of Steven. As he walked inside she could see that he looked nice. With a smile he held a bouquet of daisies.

"These are for you. I don't know that if they are your favorite flowers but Amethyst said these tasted best," said Steven.

The boy was being so earnest. It was so sweet. Sadie smiled down at him and took his hand.

Peridot made it to the Boardwalk theatre in little under an hour. According to her calculations both Steven and Sadie should be watching a movie. That would give her plenty of time to find a vantage point where she could observe the pair undetected. When you're a green skinned alien that tends to be a problem. There were no bushes or trees however where she could camouflage herself. Guess that meant that she would be heading to the Mandarin Chinese Restaurant and hiding herself there

Sadie and Steven watched a dark Swedish comedy. It shouldn't have been funny but it was. The plot was about a hoarder that had accidentally killed a corrupt social worker. His family was doing the best they could to hide the crime. Butchering and concealing body parts shouldn't have been funny but it was.

"ha, ha, ha that family was so pathetic," laughed Sadie. "I mean they were all screwed up way worse than Ingmar and when they found that Japanese runaway living in the basement."

"Yeah they should have taken a clue when when Miko was so good at disposing bodies," giggled Steven.

The movie still went on. This time the family had to confront Miko's abusive father.

"Steven thank you for taking me. This is something Lars would never do," said Sadie quietly.

They leaned closer together until they were nose to nose. Sadie cupped Steven's face with her hand, kissed him and felt nothing. This was nothing like kissing Lars no thrill at all. She pulled back. Steven looked confused.

"Did I do something wrong?" asked the boy.

"No, no, Steven it's just that a didn't feel anything. I think you're great but not like this."

"I understand I feel the same way. You know I just realized that I had been on dates with Connie. We just didn't realize it."

"So you are in love with Connie?"

"No, I thought so but lately I realize I am in love with someone else. Peridot."

"Isn't she the one trying to destroy the Earth and hates all humans?"

"That's what Connie's been telling everybody but she's just trapped here. Peridot's scared and alone. She doesn't hate humans she's trying to reach out but the lies Connie and Garnet tell make it that much harder."

"You should tell Connie this."

"Make the girl with a sword angry good one."

They left laughing the movie theatre and walked over to the Mandarin Chinese restaurant. It was quite a long walk being on the other side of town. The restaurant was nice. It was a low key affair that was designed for the locals rather than the tourists. There was a small line up but soon enough Steven and Sadie got a table.

Peridot watched as the couple talked and laughed. She had chosen a thick green bush nearby which concealed her very well. It was an excellent hiding place so much so that another being had the same idea. She felt someone sit down beside her. Lars nearly jumped when he realized that he was not alone.

"What are you doing here?" said Lars.

"The same thing as you, obviously watching Steven and Sadie. Do you know how to read lips?" asked the gem eagerly.

"No."

"Then we have no idea what they're saying."

Steven and Sadie were enjoying a shared dish of appetizers as they talked about their love interests.

"Ohh Steven that's classic. Peridot actually did that?" snorted Sadie.

"Yes, she actually ate Connie's flowers that's the last thing I remember," admitted Steven.

"Sounds like a wild party."

"Okay now your turn what crazy thing did Lars do."

"oh he wanted to take me on a trip to New York. So instead of working more hours he joined the underground wrestling ring with Ronaldo. He had this costume the red rooster he looked ridiculous."

"I can't see him as much as a fighter."

"He wasn't. On the first night he battled someone in a giant cheese costume and lost. Ended up throwing up all over the audience."

"He must really love you to risk looking so stupid."

'I know."

In the bushes outside the restaurant Lars and Peridot watched the couple with angry expressions on their faces.

"Look at time having the time of their lives," growled Lars.

"It makes me so jealous," snarled Peridot.

"I'm going to buy her a necklace."

"I'm going to build him his own robot."

"You can do that?" said Lars turning around.

"Yes any many more things."

"Well the way Connie describes it. You're a bimbo."

"Tell me more about what Connie says."

"Well last week she went into the Big Donut crying. 'Wah wah Steven doesn't love me. I was ready to give him everything and that green freak burst right in while I was making the moves. Took my sleeping bag. Peridot turned the gems against me. Now Steven loves her. He was the greatest boy ever and now I lost him.' What really happened.?"

"Well for one thing Connie needed to cool off big time," Peridot told Lars about the mission to retrieve the worm. How the first night they set up camp Connie shoved her out in the middle of a downpour where Peridot caught leeches.

"I thought you don't have blood?" asked Lars.

"Well the leeches didn't know that," Peridot shivered. "It's getting cold do you want to go to the McDonalds across the road and get a coffee?"

They continued to talk about the mission, Connie and then about the people they loved. Soon they forgot why they were there and the time.

"And so I say to Connie we can't all ride pink lions."

Peridot snickered until she saw two forms standing before them. There right before their eyes stood an angry Steven and Sadie.

"What are you two doing?" said Steven angrily.

"Spying on you," replied Peridot. Lars slapped his hand on his forehead. The green gem continued. "We were jealous and decided to watch you."

"So you don't trust us?" accused Sadie.

"I trust you. It's just that I wanted to take you to that new restaurant," admitted Lars.

"And I don't know where I stand with you Steven," confessed Peridot.

"Wait are you saying you're in love with us?" said Sadie with quiet realization.

"Yes," shouted out Lars. "I love you. I find the Big Donut lame and the donuts taste terrible. The only reason I work there is to be around you!"

Stars lit up Sadie's eyes, "oh, Lars I think the donuts are awful too."

All three of them looked at Peridot, "Really Steven did you think that all the trouble you go to teaching me about Earth and protecting me wouldn't have an effect on me? Of course I love you, you clod."

"Oh Peridot," said Steven. "Okay how did you get into town?"

"I rode your bike."

"Then we will ride the bike home together."

Traditionally the girl is supposed to ride the handlebars while the boy peddles but because the barn was over 20 miles away. Peridot peddled while Steven rode the handlebars with a big smile on his face.


	3. Chapter 3

Gardening and other Disasters

Somebody somewhere heard about the prepper movement and with that an entirely new disaster arrived. Nobody could have predicted what would have happened except of course the Crystal Gems who dealt with weird on a regular basis.

Since the Crystal Gems knew that the world could possibly be coming to an end or at the very least be serious damaged they decided on looking up information on growing their own food. They found a local gardening store and decided to try their hand at gardening vegetables. Since most of the gems were busy working on the drill the task of raising the veggies fell to Steven.

The boy when the time was right planted the seeds and grew them indoors in small pots. Until April the plants were too small to notice any difference. Peridot might have seen the seed sprouts follow her movements but not having time to study Earth biology thought nothing of it.

When the chance of frost disappeared Steven planted his seedlings outside. He planted a wide range of vegetables from potatoes to carrots and onions. He had a little herb garden and managed to convince Pearl to plant some strawberry plants and watermelon plants when it was warm enough. That should have been the first clue. Steven watered and tended his little garden faithfully and the plants being happy saw no reason to move.

One day when it was very hot Peridot took the garden hose and sprayed herself to cool off. She saw a rabbit nibble at a tomato plant when she noticed the plant move. A harsh call from Garnet sent her back to work if she had stayed longer the technician would have seen the plant swat the rabbit.

Steven was amazed at how well his garden was doing. No insect damage, no crops eaten by deer or rabbits. The boy thought it might be due to Duke the dog that Uncle George gave him and thought nothing of it.

It all came to a head on a warm June afternoon. Amethyst though nobody would admit was a greedy gem. Despite the financial situation the gems were in Amethyst still ate. So much so that Pearl had to buy a lot more food than was needed for a growing boy like Steven. So when she sauntered into Steven's garden and saw the big juicy strawberries of course she was going to eat them. The plants had other plans. As soon as the purple gem reached out for a strawberry the plant reared back and slapped her full on the face.

"What? Bring it strawberry," cried Amethyst as she pulled out her whip.

The strawberry plant roared out an inhuman cry of distress. It grew in size so did the other plants responding to its call. The purple gem started whipping the strawberry plant as the other vegetables crept up. Amethyst turned to face her enemies. It was quiet the little army. The cucumber whipped their vines at her. The squash hit Amethyst over and over again with their hard fruit. Then the melons went in for the kill. The vines wrapped up Amethyst immobilizing her. Then the really disturbing thing happened. The watermelons ran towards her.

"What the melons look like robinoids, Peridot I'm going to kill you," shouted Amethyst.

Great, now the others appeared. The Crystal gems stared open mouthed at the scene before them. They pulled out their weapons. They were about to charge when Steven stopped them.

"Stop this didn't work the last time and I wanted to eat my veggies," cried Steven.

"Then what do we do?" wailed Pearl.

Peridot shook her head, "Enough of this. Garden cease and desist your assault on Amethyst, now."

The plants let go. The gems stared in awe as the little technician made the veggies fall into line. Peridot barked an order and the plants headed straight to their beds.

Pearl looked down at Steven, "Steven did you 'water' your plants?"

"Sometimes it is nice to pee outside," admitted Steven.

Amethyst glared at Peridot, "You seem pretty calm about this weird plant activity."

"No, no Amethyst this isn't weird at all. Connie's garden is mobile too," laughed Peridot.

"Oh Goddess, I'm calling the Maheswarans," said Garnet in a wavering voice.

Priyanka was drinking a cup of coffee as she watched her daughter play in her garden.

The phone rang beside her, "Hello Garnet, where's Connie? She's out gardening. Why are you so upset? Yes, Steven did help her plant them. See anything unusual? No why do you ask?"

Connie's mother's eyes widened when she heard the news. She dropped the coffee cup and raced straight out.

There was her daughter tying her plants to some stakes as the plants struggled feebly.

"And no more changing the radio saplings. You are going to listen to the classical music station and you are going to like it," scolded Connie.

It was like looking in a mirror. Is this what Connie thought was parenting?

"Connie stop tormenting your vegetables," said Priyanka.

Peridot's Dog

Uncle George's heart was in the right place unfortunately that couldn't be said about his head. So one spring day after a particularly disastrous mission the gems were nursing their hurts when they heard George's pickup truck backfire. Garnet growled as the gems went to greet George.

Pearl sighed, "While it is good to see you. We don't have the time to act as hosts."

"Oh, I'm not staying long. Look Greg told me about how you giving Steven some more responsibilities so I decided to help," with a flourish George open the other side of his pickup truck.

Out came a very hairy and very old dog. It had brown smelly fur, it was about the size of a Labrador retriever and it moved stiffly. The thing looked very sad.

"Ta da this is Duke. His owner just died and he needs someone to take care of him. Steven are you ready to take this responsibility?" smiled George.

Steven hemmed and hawed.

"Great! I'll go get Duke's things," George piled on Duke's luggage into Steven's arms. "Here's his leash, blankie, some food, ball and of course his meds."

"George, that dog is on more meds than your mother," said an outraged Garnet. "if you think that Steven is going to feed that dog pills you've got another thing coming."

"Oh don't worry most of these are suppositories. I'll be going bye," George drove off.

Peridot looked at the dog and started poking him, "So this is a duke? Are there any more on this planet?"

Steven smiled. Peridot was still naïve, "No Duke is his name. What you have here is a dog."

"And what is the function of this 'dog'?"

"Well a dog is mainly used as companionship sometimes they act as guards."

"They're useless," said Amethyst.

"Do these dogs talk?" asked an intrigued Peridot.

"No, no they're animals they can't talk," laughed Steven.

"So what you have here is a guard and companion that will keep your secrets? That is sounds way better than a military escort. I'm liking this dog already," laughed Peridot.

Duke missed old man Sawyer his pack leader. He missed the garage and he missed his junk yard where he patrolled. He felt useful. The new pack smelt funny Duke didn't know what they were thinking but he knew what they felt. They had placed his bed in the kitchen a strange place that Sawyer never used. Every time they let Duke out it was with rolling eyes. The boy thing sighed when it was time to feed him or to let him go to out to pee. Duke may be a dog but he could sense resentment. There was only place he liked the barn and that was because it reminded him of home.

Peridot was in the barn working on a solar collector when she felt a presence. Thinking it was Amethyst because of the smell she did not turn around.

"Can you had me that torque affixer over there?" the green gem asked.

The torque affixer fell into her hand a little wet. Peridot slowly turned around. There was the Duke wagging its rear appendage. This dog was more useful than Jasper. She hugged it.

"Good, Duke," she said softly.

Duke had found his leader. The pointy one though not like the old man had the same oversmell, that of oil and ozone. The Peridot also needed him like Sawyer did doing the same things on strange looking cars. For the next several hours Duke stayed in the barn until the hunger got him.

Peridot was putting the last touches on the drill fuselage when she felt a wet pointy thing nudge her posterior facing. She decided to ignore it. The pointy appendage nudged her again. The Duke looked up in expectation.

"You can go outside to do the pee. The barn door's open," said the technician.

The dog looked up with the same look of expectation.

"It is time to refuel already? Well you eat less than Amethyst or Steven. Let's get your meal then," said Peridot as she waved for Duke to follow her.

Steven was eating the meal he had prepared when Peridot came in with Duke. He groaned was it time to feed Duke again? He sighed as he got up only to be waved down by Peridot.

"I'll feed him this time. Steven you just eat your spaghetti," said the green gem.

"It's also time to give Duke his meds too," warned Steven. "Watch it he bites."

"Then you don't know how to deliver his meds," said Peridot smugly.

After Steven showed her the dog's food and meds Peridot wet the food, made mush balls and hid the pills inside. The boy watched as Duke ate his food greedily. The dog seemed to have got his appetite back. When the dog was done Peridot got ready to leave. Duke grasped his bowl and left. It seemed that Duke was now Peridot's dog now.

From now on mealtimes were actually fun. The Peridot would sit in the garden, roll the food into balls and toss them to Duke all the while talking.

"Do you know how many obscenity laws Garnet is breaking right now? Yet when I say I'm uncomfortable I get tied to the fence," said Peridot.

The little gem tossed another bite of food, "Garnet's good at predicting the immediate future but does little to prevent long distance threats. Do you know what I would do if I was in charge of raising Steven? I'd put up stair rails to the bed."

They would continue this routine for many weeks. Peridot talking and Duke and the garden listening. The dog liked this. It reminded him of the times when the old man would kick back and have a brewsky.

When Garnet wasn't breathing down her neck. Peridot did extensive research on the care and maintenance of canines. They seemed like a lot of trouble but there must be something about them if humans liked them so much. Slowly but surely she moved Duke's things back into the barn. Peridot soon realized Duke's usefulness soon enough.

It was early summer and Duke was on patrol of the farm. He saw the cubed headed pack leader march straight into the barn. Her posture more than anything showed her bad intent. As fast as his bad legs allowed him Duke raced to the barn. It was as he expected the cube head held the Peridot by the front of her overall. The bad leader was shouting and shaking the little mechanic. This was a holdup again. Duke knew exactly what to do. He growled threateningly and when that didn't work he barked as loud as he could. The other members of the house pack rushed in scolding their leader.

"Good Duke," said Peridot shakily.

From then on Duke never left Peridot's side. He followed her to the garden. He followed her into the farmhouse he even followed on missions when he could. Once the boy came into the barn in the middle of the night smelling like Sawyer did when Mabel came to visit. What was going on? He did not even bother to clean the house like Mabel did. When he started kissing the Peridot, Duke barked in confusion. Garnet and the others rushed into the barn the Steven backed off smelling of embarrassment.

"Good dog," said Garnet.

Duke howled knowing he had done wrong.

He could feel himself failing. Over the weeks the dog was losing his strength very quickly, he felt cold all the time even though it was summer. His time was coming to an end. Duke tried to do his duties as best as he could. While he no longer had the strength to do patrols he stayed by Peridot's side. Now the mechanic stayed in the barn all the time, the boy came to visit too this time to see him. Soon the others except for cube head came to visit him too. Calling him a good dog as tears dripped from their eyes. Well how could he be a good dog when he was no longer useful? On his last night while the pointy one was sleeping Duke limped out to door and lay down. He would protect the Peridot no matter what.

They found Duke's body in the morning just outside the barn doors as if guarding it. Steven, Pearl and Amethyst cried looking down at the body. Peridot simply ran back into the barn, came out with a shovel and started digging like a maniac.

"Peridot, what are you doing. Stop," cried Steven.

"Duke died guarding this barn and me. I'm helping him complete his mission," Steven could see the tears in Peridot's eyes.

Steven held Peridot as the other gems buried Duke in front of the barn. They placed his blanket and favorite toy with him in the hole. Garnet looked on impassively.

"I don't why I'm crying Duke was an old useless thing," sobbed Peridot.

"Maybe because Duke was a friend?" suggested Steven.

From now on Peridot would have her own room at the farmhouse. Steven made sure of that.

Driving Lessons

For once Pearl had to admit Amethyst had the right idea. When Garnet broke the replicator enraging all 3 gems, Amethyst dropped Pearl and Peridot off at the beach house and took Steven on an impromptu driving lesson on the country back roads. Even isolated as they were Amethyst and Steven were caught and jailed for dangerous driving and driving without a license. When Pearl came to pick them up she was surprisingly easy on them.

"You had the right idea Amethyst but you need to get the proper paperwork" said Pearl patronizingly.

"I dunno I thought if we just drove around the barn we should be fine," said Amethyst. "And what was this about my adventure being mild compared to yours?"

"I beat up Connie with a frying pan," admitted Peridot.

Steven stared at the gem in shock.

Pearl quickly came to Peridot's defense, "Connie had it coming. She spread lies around town about Peridot, threw her to the leeches and even dislocated her shoulder."

Steven was strangely silent and cold to Peridot. When she tried to speak to him Steven shrugged her off. Pearl noticing this took Steven aside.

"Steven I noticed you being very cold to Peridot," observed Pearl.

"That gem hurt my Connie. I'm wondering if there was any good in her at all."

"That gem had plenty of provocation. Steven you may not want to hear this but given enough provocation and under the right circumstances even the best people can be driven to hurt or kill. Believe me I know," said Pearl darkly.

Carol Schmitt hated her job at the Beach City DMV. She would be happy if it were boring but it wasn't. Beach City was a nuthouse, monsters roamed loose and weirdos were everywhere. Last week she dealt with a man who spoke some weird language and a huge woman with 3 eyes. Then something like a giant chicken ran through the building, wreaking havoc and the woman with the 3 eyes wrung its neck. Carol didn't know who did more damage the monster or the chicken. So when a pale woman with a cyst on her head brought a 12-year-old Carol was having none of it.

"Hello I'd like to sign my foster son for a Driver's Ed course," said the woman.

"Lady, we don't do that here and even if we did there is no way I'm letting your son get behind a wheel," said Carol.

"I'm older than I look," piped up the boy.

"Look even if you do get a Driver's Ed course, you still have to show me his birth certificate and ID," answered Carol.

Pearl sighed, "Come Steven let's see if your father can find someone to teach us."

When they went to Greg's the aging rocker sighed, "Pearl you should have just taken the literature provided at the DMV about traffic laws. Steven looking the way he does there's no way anybody will accept him in Driver's school."

"Er yes, but for him to write the test would be equally unbelievable. After all he may be over 18 but that doesn't mean anybody will believe it," said Pearl sadly.

"Is this the chicken and the egg thing I can't be treated like an adult unless I look like one? Unbelievable," said a frustrated Steven.

The next day at the DMV a raunchy purple woman came in picking her nose.

"Yeah I'd like to get some book and junk on traffic laws and such," said Amethyst.

"So you'd like to take the written test and get a license to drive?" asked Carol.

"I need a license to drive?!"

When Amethyst got back home Steven immediately poured over the textbooks provided at the purple gem's insistence Steven read out loud the contents of the books.

"So you are supposed to stop at a red light? Good to know," mused Amethyst.

Studying was no longer anything new to Steven so the driving instructions books were just a little extra to do. Pearl also insisted that they practice on the back roads again making sure that Steven drove during the quietest parts of the day. When Steven finally passed the pop quiz that Pearl gave him, they went back to the DMV.

Carol looked at the two weirdos come marching right up to her desk. It was that weird woman again and her kid who looked like a hamster. The woman with a smug smile pulled out what must have been the boy's birth certificate and papers.

"Yes we'd like to do the written test for the learner's permit," said the pale birdlike woman smugly.

"Lady there is no way I'm going to let that kid get a learner's permit when he can't even reach the pedals," said Carol vehemently.

"But you gotta let us try. Besides I've got something that will help," the boy put a couple of paint cans on his feet.

"His papers are all in order," countered the skinny weirdo.

"Those are obviously forgeries. Don't tell me that boy is 20," snapped back Carol.

"Yes I am, it's a genetic condition I got from my mother," said Hamster boy.

"A Rose Quartz, general of the great gem war. Is this a joke?" said Carol skeptically.

Pearl had enough, "Now listen here you-"

"Security, we have a potential situation here," called out Carol.

Doug Maheswaran walked up to them. He looked at the stripper gem in contempt. Pearl looked at him in contempt. Pearl walked away with Steven in her wake. When she got into the car she turned to Steven.

"What a loser that Doug is," griped Pearl.

Peridot was working on the interior of the drill when she heard the car come back. Dropping everything she went out to see what was going on.

"Is the driving test over already?" asked Peridot.

Steven got out of the car with a glum look on his face, "No we never even got a chance to write it. The DMV clerk laughed us off.

"Next time we'll make sure we get a local," stated Pearl.

"Aww and I was hoping on going on a road trip," whined Steven.

Peridot giggled, "Road trip, road trip? Why didn't you say? Steven come after dinner to the barn."

When Steven went into the barn in the evening after supper, he found a much neater and cleaner looking Peridot. The girl had also made up her hair. When she saw Steven her face lit up. When she saw Amethyst her face fell.

"Yeah, I'm here to make sure you don't fly Steven to the moon," said Amethyst carelessly.

Now Peridot knew how Connie felt, "Yeah well here's my escape pod all made up and ready to go. I'll sit down first, Steven you'll be sitting on my lap. Amethyst there's a back seat there."

When they finally were in position Amethyst turned to Peridot," You only have one front seat and a spacious back seat. What were you thinking?"

Peridot blushed, "I bought it when I was dating Lapis Lazuli. Okay Steven here are the controls. Don't touch those they're the weapons system. Okay now I'll just let the pod out of the barn."

Amethyst tapped a panel, "What does this button do?"

A mirror ball appeared and soft romantic music filled the cabin. Peridot sweated and turned off the display.

"Like I said I was dating Lapis. Okay now Steven lets obey this planet's traffic laws. Now we're coming to a main through fare we can speed up. The speedometer is in Gemmish so we'll just have to do this by eye."

Kevin was on his first highway patrol when he saw the spaceship riding down the highway plain as you please. The thing was round with 6 appendages trailing after it and glowed green. Kevin turned on his lights and raced after the vehicle. After a quick chase the thing stopped at the shoulder of the road. Trying to look cool he knocked on the cabin window. Hey there were 3 kids in that pod. The one sitting on the alien kid's lap looked human the others not so much.

The green girl spoke, "Is there something the matter, soldier er I mean officer?"

It took all of his will to speak normally, "License and registration please?"

The green thing pulled out some cards from its hair. The 'cards' were written in strange hieroglyphics and seemed to be made of light. The purple girl in the back laughed raucously.

"Is this some sort of joke? C'mon the guys at work must have put this up. Where's the camera?" sputtered Kevin.

"No joke, I am Peridot Facet 2F5L Cut5XG and I was hoping to take Steven on a romantic road trip."

"Ye-ah you need to get that vehicle registered before you can use our roads."

The little alien thanked him and drove off. When Kevin got back to the patrol car he hit his head against the dashboard over and over again. He had just made contact with an alien and he asked for a license and registration? What was he thinking?

Carol was minding her own business when a little green girl marched up to her desk. The human's jaw dropped when she saw what was clearly an alien.

"Hello I'd like to register my escape pod," said Peridot as she motioned to her spaceship outside.

Carol packed up and left Beach City the next day.


	4. Chapter 4

A Proper Mission

"Connie Maheswaran open the tent," shouted Garnet.

The teenaged girl just sobbed on the other side of the tent flap. Outside the tent Steven sweated uncomfortably. What a mess this wouldn't have happened if Peridot was here instead.

Connie was listening to her parents argue once again. She thought March break would be fun be with cool activities and maybe a vacation but parents were so busy they forgot about her. Now she was cooling her heels while the weather was still vile outside.

It all seemed to get better when the phone rang.

Her mother answered, "You want to take Connie on a camping trip to California. It is safe? How much? oh nothing! I'll put her on."

Connie impatiently snatched the phone from her mother, "Hi Pearl, no I'm not doing anything."

"That's great, how would like to go on a grand and glorious quest?" asked Pearl.

"It would be my honor," smiled Connie.

It was going to be great. Peridot would not be coming. When she got to the Beach house Peridot was arguing with Garnet.

"You're cracked absolutely cracked if you think you can go without me," ranted Peridot.

"Peridot you're not as indispensable as you think," said Garnet coldly.

"But I've been there I set up traps. I know the tech."

"Enough, no more arguing. You're going to the Pizzas and that's it," the fusion picked up Peridot by the scruff of her neck and carried her out.

Connie repressed a smile when she turned to her teacher Pearl. "I've brought my long pants, a rain poncho and my sword."

"That's nice," said Pearl distractedly. "But you'll be needing this instead."

The pale gem handed Connie a shovel. What had she gotten herself into?

When Koffi Pizza saw Garnet drag Peridot to the pizzeria he knew that there would be trouble. The little gem was protesting loudly but Garnet simply ignored her and actually threw the gem into Koffi's arms.

"Wait you need me. I'm the only one who knows the area," shouted the green monster.

Garnet ignored her, "Koffi, this is Peridot, a prisoner of ours. We are going on an important mission and we can't afford to leave her unattended. While she is here you will keep her busy, you will instruct her on the ways of Earth particularly polite behavior and above all you will never let you out of her your sight."

Koffi looked down at the green alien. Peridot looked every bit the alien from her green skin and pointed teeth and ears. She also looked sad and frightened. He noticed the bruises on her arms. As he watched Garnet walk away he wondered who the real monster was.

Koffi called out back, "Mother come out of the kitchen. You're better at these things than me."

When Connie thought of a great and noble quest her mind went to her favorite book series where Lisa the heroine would quest for the summer goblet or the sword of fire. Lisa would traverse hostile lands and fight strange and fearsome monsters. Never in this noble quests did it mention the heroine using a shovel and digging for her prize. The beta kindergarten looked strange and hostile with man shaped holes and broken equipment on the walls much like a ruined castle. If Connie even thought to ask she would have found out this place was downright homey compared to the Prime kindergarten. The place had recent signs of habitation and a strange smell wafted through the canyon.

"Burnt Halla," stated Pearl. "I found Peridot camping out here after the Sardonyx incident."

"That's all behind us," said Garnet.

In front of them Amethyst motioned for them to stop. The warrior gem looked at the scanner intently stepping onto a clear patch of ground Amethyst called out the all clear and then promptly fell into a pit.

The remaining gems rushed into action. Running over to the edge of the pit. Amethyst lay on a bed of crystal spikes. Amethyst looked up to them, cursed and poofed away leaving her gem behind.

Pearl sighed, "I'll get the rope."

After fishing Amethyst out the team went even further into the kindergarten. Amethyst leading with the detector, the gems with weapons raised and the children trailing behind with shovels. After 2 hours Amethyst motioned for them to stop. Pearl set up some sifters while Garnet watched uneasily. Steven stepped forward any began to dig. He paused and motioned Connie to follow him.

Connie was digging for like forever when it started getting dark. Her muscles ached, her back ached. She felt tired all over. She was hungry and thirsty. Connie felt like stopping when Pearl announced it was quitting time. The children followed her to what was supposed to be the campsite. The tents looked like they had been in an earthquake. The supplies lay scattered around a roaring fire where Amethyst sat.

"Yeah, I'm not good at the building stuff," said a shame faced Amethyst.

"Kids, I'll make you dinner. You just set up the tents," ordered Pearl.

While Steven and Connie were making their shelters Connie noticed Garnet just standing there.

"You could actually help, you know," said Connie scathingly.

"We're not alone," whispered Garnet.

"Monsters?" asked Connie.

"Humans, they're keeping away for now but warn the others."

Connie crept back to the campsite and told the others what Garnet had said. After a hasty dinner of macaroni and cheese she went to bed alone. Pearl and Amethyst had made a point of Steven and Connie sleeping in different tents.

Meanwhile at Fish Stew Pizza the restaurant had closed and the Pizzas were getting ready for bed. They had climbed up the stairs to the apartment above. When Peridot asked where she was going to spend the night the twins simply took her up to their room. On one side was a rumbled bed while that side of the room was relatively neat and clean on the other side was a perfectly made up bed while that side of the room looked like a bomb had gone off.

"I'll take the closet," said Peridot.

Jenny stopped her, "No the closet is where I go to study while Kiki sleeps. You have the bed."

"But don't you need the bed to sleep?" asked Peridot.

"Jenny hasn't slept in over 8 years," answered Kiki. "We don't know why but it allows her to get more done."

They gave the green gem some pajamas. Peridot reluctantly crawled into the bed and went into an uneasy downtime.

The next morning after a cold breakfast Amethyst formed into a chopper while Garnet hung outside with the scanner. The pair flew off to scan the entire canyon leaving Pearl, Steven and Connie behind.

"Guess that means a break for now," said Connie.

"Not just yet there's we still haven't finished with that spot yet," replied Pearl.

And so it was back to work again while Pearl stood guard. This time Connie dug while Steven was at the sifters. Soon Garnet and Amethyst came back they had found a couple of other sites and several caves that looked interesting. They stopped for an unsatisfying lunch and then moved onto the next site.

Work seemed to go faster with Amethyst's help shoveling and Pearl at the sifters while Garnet patrolled the edges of the site. Halfway through the dig Connie hit something with her shovel producing a loud thud.

"Oh Connie you need to be more careful. You just broke a fuel cell," scolded Amethyst.

That teared it Connie dropped the shovel and ran back to her tent. The gems quickly followed after her.

The next morning Peridot padded downstairs to the restaurant below. There in the kitchen Jenny was hard at work preparing for the day. The so called evil twin waved cheerily at her.

"Oh hi there did you have a good sleep?" cried Jenny.

"Not really I'm worried about the gems. Well Garnet can go shatter," admitted Peridot. "Jenny, you and Kiki are twins. What does that mean? Are you identical?"

The little gem barraged her with questions. Jenny merely laughed.

"Hold on there. Help me clean these fish and I'll answer all your questions. No Peridot don't use soap. Here this is how you clean a fish."

After a lesson from Jenny on cleaning fish, Peridot took a fish and then started to dissect it. Its innards were fascinating. What was the purpose of all those structures? How did they keep the fish alive?

"You're really interested in that fish aren't you?" laughed Jenny.

"I've never got a chance to do an in depth study of Earth life and since this fish is already dead."

"Well I need that entire case cleaned and filleted before my family wakes up."

"Affirmative, you were going to tell me about you and Kiki?"

"Er yes when we were born we looked exactly alike at least that's what Dad told me. We moved to Beach City about ten years ago and the changes happened. Just little things at first like my face being shaped differently. Then about 8 years ago I just stopped sleeping, never got tired or anything. Freaked my Dad out, the doctors can't explain it but it doesn't hurt me. My family keeps a bed for me just in case. It's lonely not being able to sleep. There are times when the entire world is dead. You are the only one awake and there's no one to talk to."

"Whatever do you do?"

"Mostly my homework, setting up the restaurant. That gives me plenty of time to play in the sun."

They chatted as they cleaned the rest of the fish. As Peridot talked about her life on Earth Jenny didn't see an evil alien rather a young frightened girl trying to survive. The rest of the family came down and started working. Under Nanefua's watchful eye Peridot grated cheese chopped vegetables and rolled out pizza dough. Three hours after the Pizzeria had opened Jenny's phone rang. It was Garnet and she didn't sound happy. The fusion brusquely ordered Jenny to give the phone to Peridot. The little green gem reluctantly took the phone. Even from two feet away Jenny could hear Garnet warble something abusive. The little gem warbled something back. Garnet warbled something back. Peridot's eyes teared up and she said something in her own language. She dropped the phone and ran outside.

When Jenny went outside she found Peridot crouched in the middle of a giant ruined sandcastle. The little gem was crying her eyes out. Why wasn't Kiki here? She was good at these things. Jenny hugged the girl stiffly.

"What's the matter? Maybe I can help," said Jenny kindly.

The little gem turned to face Jenny, "Oh Jenny it's awful, Steven and Connie have been kidnapped."

"Connie Maheswaran open the tent," shouted Garnet.

The teenaged girl just sobbed on the other side of the tent flap. Outside the tent Steven sweated uncomfortably. What a mess this wouldn't have happened if Peridot was here instead.

"No I thought this mission would be fun. Instead I've been shoveling dirt all day working like a slave," shouted Connie.

"Now Connie," said Pearl sweetly. "We're trying to save the world everybody must make sacrifices."

"No, I don't even know what I'm looking for. I'm tired, hungry and my muscles ache," the girl started sobbing again.

"Come out or I'll come in after you," shouted Garnet her gauntlets flashed.

"Whoa, whoa, calm down, who do you think this is Peridot?" said Amethyst as she pulled back Garnet.

Steven sighed, "Let me try. Guys just wait outside."

He found Connie curled up in the far corner of the tent. The girl looked tired and dirty.

"Oh Steven this hasn't turned out the way I hoped," sobbed Connie.

"Look not all missions are fun. Sometimes they are boring like today but time's running out we need the tech here," said Steven.

"I don't care, I just wanted to have some fun. That's what spring break's for."

Steven held her while the girl sobbed noisily. Connie hadn't asked for any of this so why didn't he feel sorry for her? What was Garnet thinking leaving Peridot behind? He let Connie cry into his shoulder feeling uncomfortable.

Suddenly the back of the tent lifted up and two very dirty people grabbed the children and ran. On the outside of the tent Connie heard an explosion. Connie kicked and screamed as the bums carried her and Steven away to the gods know where. They raced through the canyons dodging and weaving as the gems chased them. There were met up with even more homeless people waiting for them, One of them touched a panel and activated a trap causing the canyon walls to collapse. They took the children through tunnels and caves some empty some with gem equipment steadily going upwards until they reached the top. Despite hers and Steven's protests they ran into a ruined building nearby.

When they finally let Connie and Steven go. They found themselves in a derelict house surrounded by homeless people. Connie screamed and charged at them. A couple of the group worked together and pinned her down. Steven summoned his shield and was ready to charge at them when an older man gestured surrender.

"Easy kids, you're safe now," said their leader.

Steven scanned the man suspiciously. The man had long scraggly white hair and a beard. He looked to be about 60 and his clothes hung loosely on his frame. He held his hand out ready to shake his hand.

"I'm sorry we got off to a wrong start. My name's Frank," said the man. He then introduced his group. Mary and Joan were the women holding Connie down. A teenage runaway named Charlie was on lookout. George was his second in command and Alison and Jeff were out on a mission.

"Why are you doing this?" said Steven warily.

"We saw you slaving away with that weird woman and knew you were in trouble," explained Frank.

"Pearl? she's my foster mother," exclaimed Steven.

"Kid that woman is bad news. Your Pearl stabbed and tried to hunt down an alien kid. Green girl little older than yourself. If it weren't for us hiding her that kid would have been dead."

"Hey Frank the girl has a cell phone," cried one of the women holding down Connie.

"Call the sheriff," ordered Frank.

"No good there's no reception," called Mary.

"I hear a chopper," shouted Charlie.

"You know what you must do," said Jenny. "You have to go get them back. Prove yourself to Garnet."

Peridot stood up, "You're right I do have to this. Jenny come with me."

The little gem marched up to the beach house only to find the door locked. Peridot muttered a curse and then motioned Jenny to follow she led the teenager to some loose sideboards at the back of the house.

Peridot laughed nervously, "I ah found this when I tried to kidnap Steven."

When they got inside Peridot scampered straight to the warp pad. She tried warping to the beta kindergarten but couldn't. The little gem cursed what could be the problem?

At the beta kindergarten Alison and Jeff dusted themselves off after placing a huge rock on the warp pad.

"There, that makes sure they can't bring any reinforcements," said Jeff smugly.

At Beach City Peridot turned to Jenny, "I have no choice then Jenny I need you to drive me to the barn."

"What's at the barn?"

"My pod."

"Fine I'll just tell Dad and the others."

After quite a bit of negotiation Jenny convinced her Dad to let her take the car to the barn. With the help of Peridot Jenny reached the barn in no time. As soon as they reached the barn Peridot thanked the human and was about to leave only to be stopped by Jenny.

"You don't think I'd let you go alone. I'm a coming with you," declared Jenny.

With that the pair zoomed towards the Beta Kindergarten in California. They came to a large canyon with man shaped holes on its sides. Peridot did a quick scan and found the ruined campsite.

"Jenny _stay_ inside the pod. It looks like the gems activated some of my traps," ordered Peridot.

"You laced this place with booby traps," said Jenny incredulously.

"Well the gems were trying to kill me," said Peridot nonchalantly.

The little technician flew the pod into the air looking for any signs of gem activity. She flew slowly looking for any signs of the gems while there was a trail of destruction it soon went cold. Cautiously she flew further up and scanned the immediate area. Soon enough outside a ruined house she came to a small warzone. Typical, those clods don't know how to solve any problem without violence.

"Alright girls get the boom cans," ordered Frank.

Alison pulled what looked like a jar of glowing fluids. As Garnet punched through the doors, Alison flung the jar at the cube headed gem right into Garnet's face. It blew up in the fusion's face. Pearl and Amethyst rushed in with weapons raised.

Peridot sighed as she gently landed the pod in front of the house. As usual the gems were smashing things and people.

Peridot dusted her hands "I'll handle this, Jenny,"

"I know stay in the pod."

Peridot sighed heavily again as she pulled out a gem disruptor. Garnet was busy pulverizing an old man when Peridot zapped her. Garnet's form poofed. Then Peridot went into the house were three people were keeping Amethyst and Pearl at bay with cans of glowberry paste. Humans. they truly had a gift of war. The humans were about to smash a jar of glowberry in her face when she poofed Pearl and Amethyst as well.

Peridot raised her hands, "Let the kids go human Frank."

The older human signaled his followers to let Steven and Connie go. He raced to hug the little gem. Peridot's nostrils were assaulted with the smell of dirty human.

"Greenie, you're alive and you speak English," cried Frank.

"I'll explain everything but first does this domicile have an outhouse?" asked Peridot.

Steven's jaw dropped as Frank led Peridot outside. The little technician then picked up Pearl, Amethyst and Garnet's gems. Once they were there she threw them down the hole.

"Peridot why did you do that?" shouted an outraged Connie.

"Punishment, they endangered your lives for no good reason. Now let me clean up the mess that these gems created," said Peridot smugly.

When the gems emerged hours later they found themselves in a smelly pit. After crawling out of the pit they discovered they were in an outhouse. It was dark outside and Peridot was waiting for them with her arms crossed. Off to the side Steven, Jenny and Connie gave them dirty looks. Beside Peridot were several fuel cells and ancient light rations. Behind her two ambulance attendants carried a homeless person into an ambulance.

"I was wondering when you would show your sorry faces," said Peridot. "Because of your actions a lot of people got hurt. What were you thinking…"

The Crystal Gems hung their heads while the little juvenile lectured them for their risky behavior. They had done wrong and they knew it.


	5. Chapter 5

Opening Their Eyes

It was after one of Connie's weekly sword fighting lessons and Connie and Steven were sitting at Pearl's feet listening to the pale gem talk about the great gem war. Stars were in their eyes as they listened raptly to every word Pearl was saying. Off a little ways Peridot rolled her eyes. Did these pebbles think war was noble, fun? It was time to open their eyes.

The next few days when Peridot was not working on the drill or another project she was brooding. She wandered through the farm lost in her thoughts. Occasionally she would sit in front of the radio or TV not really listening in her own little world. Then as soon as it began it ended.

Steven was getting ready for sword fighting practice when Peridot marched in.

"Are you going to the sky arena today?" asked Peridot without even bothering to greet Steven.

"No Connie is coming to the barn and will be practicing here. After which we'll be hanging out all day," replied Steven.

"Good there is something I want to show the both of you. Steven just how strong is your bubble?"

When the Maheswaran's car drove in Connie bounded out of the car smiling and waving at Steven. Her face fell as soon as she saw Peridot. The green gem kept a stiff smile on her face trying not to look insulted. If her plan was to work she needed to keep a civil tongue in her head.

"Hi, Connie how would you and Steven like to take a ride in my pod," asked Peridot with forced cheer.

"I dunno I should ask Pearl," said Connie suspiciously.

"Oh come on, let's see what the nerd has in mind," butted in Amethyst. "Unless you have objections to me coming along."

"Actually I think this would be educational for you too," said Peridot with narrowed eyes.

The technician motioned for her dog to stay as she led Connie, Steven and Amethyst inside the barn. The group passed the various machines that Peridot and Peal had been working on from the replicator to the two giant robots. In the center lay Peridot's escape pod. Sensing her arrival, the pod opened up. The Gem motioned for the others to come inside. When they got inside they saw a seat in the front and what looked like seatbelts in the back.

"Now listen I fully expect to be flogged for this but I feel this is important," said Peridot once she got inside.

"Where are we going?" asked Connie.

"Far, far away, fortunately. Now this is going to be a long journey how about we stop off at McDonald's?" said Peridot with a forced smile.

Both Steven and Connie knew what a trip to McDonald's meant. In Beach City McDonald's was used a meeting place for illicit trysts and unsavory dealings but that didn't mean their Big Macs weren't good. Peridot slowly drove the pod up to the drive in speaker.

"Welcome to McDonald's, may I take your order," asked a voice on the other side.

"Yeah Mike give me the usual," shouted out Amethyst.

"One chocolate sundae served with fries, got it,

"I'd like a large dark roast coffee served with salt and an order of fries," said Peridot. Their fries were just that good that Peridot would consider eating them.

"Er Big Mac Combo," said Steven.

"Double quarter pounder combo," called out Connie. She wanted to make sure that Peridot payed one way or the other.

Peridot grumbled when she heard the price but paid quickly enough. She stopped the pod under the tree where the crew ate their meal in silence. Ronaldo and Kikki stared opened mouthed at the scene before them.

"What a time to leave my cellphone behind," moaned Ronaldo.

Once they were out of city limits Peridot showed the true potential of the pod. The little ship climbed slowly up into the air like a plane taking off. Steven felt his body being pressed into the seat as Peridot accelerated the vehicle. The clouds flickered before him at unimaginable speeds while Peridot half listened to some radio transmissions. They started to circle and decelerate as Peridot found the place she was looking for. As Steven looked out he could see the smoking remains of a small town.

They landed in what appeared to be the town square in late afternoon. The air was hot and smoky. The town was silent except for the sound of flies buzzing in the air. As Peridot opened the pod they noticed the smell.

"Steven one we're out I want you to bubble us," ordered Peridot.

"Where are we?" asked Amethyst.

"In a war zone behind the front, one army has driven another from this town," answered Peridot. "Steven roll the bubble."

They passed through the ruined streets. Around them lay wreckage and charred bodies.

"Who are these people?" asked Connie.

"Dead," answered Peridot. "Unfortunates to be caught in the crossfire. Steven roll the bubble over here."

They came to the ruins of a low building. Peridot and the others pushed the bubble inside. Once inside what they saw shocked them. Small bodies lay in and around desks.

"This is a formatory. These human pebbles died as a result of the war being fought by their parents. I'm sure somebody somewhere is regretting this but in the heat of battle everyone is a target," lectured Peridot.

She rolled the bubble through the ruins. They entered homes, shops and what looked like government buildings. The devastation had spared not one building

Peridot sighed, "Steven and Connie gems reproduce by sucking the life force and materials away from planets. This makes war inevitable as not all planets are uninhabited or defenseless. I do not know why humans fight but this why gems do.

I myself have lived with war. I nearly died during a bombing raid on the capitol when I was too young and stupid to know to hide within the shelters. When I heard Pearl talking about her grand and glorious adventures I knew I had to show you the true face of war."

"Okay we get it war is bad," said Amethyst.

Peridot turned to the Purple gem, "No you don't. If you love this planet so much war with the Gem Matrix is something that must be avoided at all costs."

"So you want us to surrender and die?" accused Connie.

"No Connie, I want Amethyst and Steven when the time comes avoid it as much as possible. Talk to Yellow Diamond and if that fails to leave Earth. This planet cannot stand another gem war," said Peridot sadly.

They slowly rolled the bubble back to the pod. When they were halfway there a shot rang out. They could hear a ping as the bullet ricocheted off the bubble. Peridot ordered the group to roll faster. The bullets bounced off the bubble as they rolled until it stopped. The group ran inside the bubble. Amethyst rolled inside as the speed of the other overtook her. When they reached the pod finally they breathed a sigh of relief. Peridot's pod opened up when it sensed her arrival. Steven dispelled the bubble thinking they were safe. They were not.

From behind the pod a boy in rags about Steven's age screamed something and pointed a gun at Peridot's face. The truly disturbing thing was that this child looked like a skinny dirty version of Steven. The boy babbled something as he waved the gun between the group. For the longest time the group stood still until Steven looked at Amethyst stepped in front and formed his shield.

"We'll handle this," said Amethyst.

Using his shield Steven pinned the boy to the pod. The boy kicked and screamed until Amethyst punched him in the jaw, knocking the child out. Working quickly Peridot threw away the gun and ordered Steven and Connie to take the boy inside the pod.

"You want to take this boy away from his family? That's that's insane," objected Connie.

"If he had a family he wouldn't be holding a gun. Amethyst tie him up with your whips or something," said Peridot.

With that the pod sped back to Beach City. Halfway there the boy woke up. He was a lot more subdued without his gun and watched out the window as the clouds zipped by. The first stop they made was the hospital in Beach City. Amethyst pulled the frightened boy out of the pod and carried him right into the emergency room. That was the last they saw of him.

As they were driving home Steven noticed that Peridot was trembling. When he asked why Peridot replied that she fully expected to be flogged.

"I won't let that happen you. You showed us all something very important," vowed Amethyst.

It was dark by the time they got to the barn. Sure enough Pearl and Garnet were waiting for them looking very cross. This time Amethyst decided to come to the rescue. She made sure she was the first to step out of the pod.

"Hey, Peridot took us all to McDonald's and then we went to Manchurian China," said Amethyst.

Garnet looked the purple gem straight in the eye, "You are a liar. I just received a call from the hospital. You dropped off a child soldier."

"Peridot what were you thinking sending these children into a war zone?" sputtered Pearl.

"Isn't that what you were planning to do with Connie?" replied Peridot.

In response Pearl viciously slapped Peridot. The dog ran to Peridot barking trying to protect his mistress. Pearl ignored Duke and was about to give Peridot a second blow when Steven pushed Pearl away.

"Stop! Peridot showed us something very important today. She showed us what war is really like, the devastation and death. Even though she knew she was going to be punished Peridot risked everything to show us this," cried Steven.

"Doesn't matter, you're not going on anymore field trips," Garnet marched over to the pod, formed her gauntlets extra-large and smashed the pod.

"My pod, you ruined my pod," squeaked Peridot.

"You're going to lose a lot more than your pod once Steven falls asleep," growled Garnet.

Peridot trembled in fear as Connie looked on. The goblin was finally going to get hers so why did Connie feel sorry for her? Just then Connie's phone rang. The girl answered immediately.

"Oh hi Mom, where was I with Steven at the barn yes we went to McDonald's but Peridot and Amethyst had an important mission. Say Mom I was wondering if I could have a sleepover. Do you mind if Peridot comes over? Really that's great. Thanks love you," said Connie cheerily.

The gems stared at Connie. Why was she of all people defending her enemy? Perhaps the human was also growing up too.

Later when Mom's car came to pick her and Peridot up, Connie felt a little bit taller.


	6. Chapter 6

Putting Away Childish Things

It was a hot summer night and Steven was fast asleep in his air conditioned room. The gems even Peridot had gathered outside for a meeting. Even with the cool summer breeze the atmosphere was thick and smothering.

"Despite all our best efforts Steven still has a lot of growing up to do," announced Garnet.

"Garnet, he's like matured emotionally a lot," said Amethyst.

"No he hasn't! If he had it would show. You should have pushed him harder," said an exasperated Garnet. "I've seen the future. Thanks to our delays the world will be devastated.

"And who's fault was that? Garnet your decisions have cost us. From sending Connie with Steven and me on a mission to destroying our replicator it's all been you," said Peridot.

Garnet growled, "Peridot unless you have something constructive to say shut up."

"Now Garnet, Steven is actually making great strides. He's worked very hard from grade 3 education he's now at junior high school. He even can keep and maintain a household," said Pearl soothingly.

"None of that means anything. You should have pushed him harder," shouted Garnet.

"Oh and how are we supposed to do that?" snapped back Amethyst.

"I shouldn't have to tell you."

"Let me guess we have to figure it out on our own," said Pearl snidely. "Garnet you're good at telling people what to do but you are a lousy teacher. So tell us how do we make a man out of Steven?"

"I actually have a suggestion," Peridot said timidly.

The gems all blushed at that remark.

"No, no not that! I am suggesting a Homeworld coming of age ritual," suggested Peridot.

With that Peridot explained her plan. It would involve all of Steven's friends and family Greg would be particularly important. When she described the ritual that she went through before coming to Earth the gems all stared at her.

"So you want us to burn down the beach house or at least Steven's room?" said a shocked Amethyst.

"Usually that's what's done but I'm suggesting something different. We simply burn his toys," said Peridot.

"Actually that might work. I'll call Greg then Connie," said Pearl.

"No this is a ritual for coming into adulthood. No children should be allowed," lied Peridot. The last thing she wanted was the Connie taking part in Steven's special day.

The next morning Steven awoke to the smell of coffee and bacon. Pearl was in the kitchen cooking him a huge breakfast. When Steven protested that he could cook his own breakfast Pearl simply waved him away. When he sat down at the kitchen table he noticed Peridot nursing a cup of coffee. The green gem blushed and wished him a good morning.

After serving him breakfast Pearl stood before the boy, "Steven I've got something important to tell you. You've made so much progress in the last few months growing emotionally and intellectually well we've decided to to.."

Peridot came to Pearl's rescue "Steven what Pearl is saying is that we're going to be taking a page from Homeworld and have a coming of age ritual."

"I thought Gems didn't grow up," said Steven.

"Actually we don't come out as adults just not babies. But we do grow emotionally that is why we have formatories. Steven once a gem reaches maturity, she goes through her possessions and takes a few mementoes. Then her friends and instructors each take a memento and her dorm is set on fire. After which her friends each give her a gift to mark her transition to adulthood."

"Well what do I do?" asked Steven.

"Nothing," replied Peridot. "This is usually done as a complete surprise. I myself was having downtime when I was greeted by my matron with a flame thrower in one hand and a formal cloak in the other. We're just modifying the ritual a little like not setting your bed on fire."

The next few days the gems were kept very busy. Pearl handed out formal invitations to all the adult members of the community. Amethyst and Garnet did the shopping for the big day and Peridot searched the town for an appropriate gift with Greg.

"hmm if this works. Steven is going to need new clothes," mused Peridot as she looked at the clothes racks. "What size is Steven supposed to get as an adult?"

"I really don't know Pearl tried to guess but all we got was somewhere between my height at 6 feet tall and Rose's at 8 feet tall," replied Greg. "Besides from what you said he might not reach full size even if this does work."

"Then we can't give him a formal suit."

"Well we can get him one thing," said Greg as he produced a tie.

"That's great, let's get some extra-large T-shirts and these shorts. I'm going to look for a gift myself at the supermarket."

On the big day Pearl shook Steven awake. She had a big smile plastered on her face.

"Wake up sleepyhead we have a big day ahead," said Pearl.

The first thing she did was drive him over to the DMV. Where thanks to a local at the desk he actually got to write and pass the test. Steven left with a learners permit in hand. At Pearl's insistence he actually drove to the beach house. It seemed like the entire town was waiting for him. He scanned the beach and saw the Pizzas at a banquet table.

"We're catering this big event," said Koffi. With a flourish the man opened one of the trays. On it was not pizza but some beautifully prepared fish.

"This is an adult party with adult food and booze," explained Koffi.

From the corner of his eye Steven could see a huge form lumbering towards him.

"I'm I too late?" panted an exhausted Ronaldo. Steven I got something for you."

In the boy's hand was a blooming fried onion. Then shaking his head Ronaldo put it on the banquet table. He tried to hand something to Steven but was stopped.

"Not just yet. First we take out Steven's possessions from the beach house," scolded Pearl.

The gems thanked the guests for coming and then went inside the beach house. They pulled out every toy, every book, and every piece of clothing Steven had grown out of. In short everything that was Steven's was placed in a pile on the beach. By the time they were done the beach house was much cleaner and emptier.

When they stepped outside with the final bundles. The crowd clapped loudly. The pile was huge it was easily as big as a small car.

"Steven, since this is your day you get the first pick," said Peridot.

The young man picked up his ukulele, cheeseburger backpack, a teddy bear and his Gameboy set with cartridges.

"Now your father and the Gems," called out Peridot.

His Dad cautiously picked over his things, the gems also dug in while Peridot looked on. She felt a shove to the back.

"You're a Crystal Gem too," said Steven starry eyed.

Peridot scanned the pile until she came to some strange small artifacts. Some of them looked to be clothing but were way too small for Steven.

"What are these?" asked the green gem.

Greg answered with sparkles in his eyes, "These are Steven's baby things. I can't believe you guys kept these. I'll be taking those."

"Actually there're mine now," corrected Peridot.

Greg was about to say something rude when Garnet put her hand on his shoulder.

"Let her have these Greg it might be important," stated Garnet ambiguously.

Peridot gazed thoughtfully at her find, while Greg took the rest of the baby things in the pram.

Once the Gems and Steven's father were done Peridot motioned for the guests to take their pick. Surprisingly the guests formed a neat orderly line each one taking one or two items and then leaving.

When Ronaldo's turn came up his eyes bulged. "Steven you have the Lonely Blade series and you're giving it up?"

Steven blushed, "Yes I realized it was not like real sword fighting at all."

Stars appeared in Ronaldo eyes, "You mean you've seen a real swordfight. That's so cool."

When Lars came up he was holding a rather peaked Sadie by the arm. He gallantly showed Sadie some things and she picked out her old dress from Beachaplooza. Lars picked out the best video games saying he couldn't believe that Steven was throwing these away. The rest of town picked out what they wanted quickly but the pile was still very large.

"Alright let's get some lunch. The food is getting cold," announced Koffi.

For this special occasion even Pearl got something to eat while Peridot merely nursed a glass of wine. Because Steven was an adult he was given wine as well. It tasted funny but he felt so grown up. He watched as the town laughed and chattered away.

Peridot watched the party closely. The coming of age ritual seemed to be a success in her eyes Steven already seemed to be a bit older. What Peridot didn't realize is that she looked older too.

"Hey there I noticed you aren't eating anything. Don't you like the taste of food?" observed Amethyst.

"Oh I like the taste of food alright. It's just the excreting part that's unpleasant," replied Peridot.

"You're so like Pearl. No wonder the town thinks you are her kid. I find the excreting to be quite good. It gives me time to think you know."

"Miss Amethyst you are in sore need of meditation lessons."

The purple gem merely laughed and walked away.

After lunch was over it was time for presents. This time the townsfolk came first. Steven received tie after tie but Lars surprised him when he handed Steven a door.

"A door how nice," said Steven trying to seem grateful.

"Yeah, Sadie and I did it because we adore you. No seriously you need walls on your room for privacy," he then put his hand beside his mouth. "Come over to the Big Donut for your real coming of age present."

Ronaldo gave him some plaster and the cool kids gave Steven some lumber and drywall. When it was Mr. Smiley's turn we merely smiled at Steven and revved up a power drill.

"Well I was going to give you another tie but after hearing what Sour Cream and his gang were planning I decided to build your room," said Smiley actually smiling.

The man marched straight up to the Beach house and started to work. As the gems heard him pounding away Mr. Smiley asked that the town not mind him and continue with the celebration. Naturally the gems and a few townsfolk pitched in. Within an hour Steven's cubby had walls. Garnet shuddered at the possibilities now open to Steven.

Mayor Dewey made a big show of giving the most expensive gift a digital camera while Buck hunched over in embarrassment. After the guest had given Steven their presents Peridot turned to Steven.

"Now it is time for our gifts Steven," said Peridot.

Greg blushed and looked away, "Stu-ball I was going to get you a tie but seeing everybody else did I got you this instead."

"Wow, thanks Dad a gift certificate for Big and Tall," said Steven.

Amethyst handed Steven a guitar. "A ukuele is like a baby guitar so I decided to get you this."

"Thanks Amethyst I'll take it to the barn."

"Now it's time for my gift," announced Garnet. "It's a set of cuff links. Originally they were your mother's jewelry but I had them modified."

Pearl said nothing as she handed him an adult sized set of clothes. It was simple just a large black T-shirt and a pair of shorts. Steven's eyes teared up and he hugged the pale gem.

Peridot's gift made him raise his eyebrows. She blushed sweetly as she handed him a strange purple fruit.

"It's a passion fruit," said Peridot shyly as she kissed him.

Garnet then stepped forward with a flaming torch.

"Steven I think you should do the honors," smiled Garnet.

The crowd cheered as Steven took the torch. They clapped as Steven put the torch to his old toys and burned his childhood away. After watching silently for a while, the town left first in ones and twos and then finally the whole town. As Pearl watched the flames burn away at Steven old treasures she wiped away her tears smiling as she did so.

When Connie walked home from school she couldn't help but notice how empty the streets were. There were hardly any shops open and when she went to the boardwalk only Beach City Fries was open. Where was everybody? As if to answer her question a crowd of people marched in from the beach back to their places of work and homes.

"What's going on?" asked Connie as she grabbed Buck Dewey's shoulder.

"Steven had a gem bar mitzvah, an adults only party sorry," replied Buck coolly.

Steven looked on at the pile of burning toys and clothes. His childhood was going up in flames and it felt great. It was like his past mistakes were burning away as he watched his queasy doll burst into flames. Off to the side Peridot and the gems watched in approval.

"Look at that. Its working," crowed Peridot with her fist clenched. "I can see him growing bigger already. I can't believe this is working, finally a success."

What Peridot didn't see was that she was growing as well. Her limbs lengthening and her form filling out. Stars lit up in her eyes as Steven grew from a small boy to a godly fuzzy male.

"Steven I think it's time you tried on the clothes Pearl got you," said Peridot in a husky voice.

When Connie finally rounded the corner of the beach to where Steven lived she came to see a heartbreaking sight. There was her jam bud rapidly growing as the gems looked on in approval as Garnet handed Steven a pile of clothes. The man stripped off.

Connie could take no more, "Steven what are you doing?"

His voice was chillingly deep. "I'm growing up Connie. It's time to put away childish things."

"Does that mean putting me away too?" tears welled up in Connie's eyes.

Steven looked at her and shrank a little, "No, no you'll always be my jam bud."

"Are you outgrowing me? Because my parents won't let me see you like this."

"Tell me do your parents know about the end of the world?" snapped back Peridot.

The green gem had also grown up too. Now she was taller than Connie and had a lush figure.

"No, I am protecting the people I love. Your Mom might have trained you but could you say she loved you?" said Connie smugly.

Tears formed in the technician's eyes. The little slut visibly shrank. Now Connie knew what to do.

"Steven don't you want go on adventures with me? Hang out together?" pleaded Connie.

Steven shrank even more. His voice was now higher pitched, "I do it's just that I-"

Connie turned on the water works. Steven in his new clothes ran towards her. Now his voice was higher pitched. "There, there I'll always have time for you."

Connie smirked at Peridot who was looking on. The goblin was smaller too.

In a rage Greg took Steven's guitar and smashed it, "You selfish little brat.

"Excuse me?" Connie turned to Steven's father.

"I finally got to see my baby boy grow into the fine young man that he was meant to be and you ruined it," growled Greg dangerously.

"Greg you're hurting me," pleaded Connie.

"Dad let her go. She didn't mean to," said her Steven to the rescue.

Connie looked down. "I just wanted my-"

"It's always me, me, me with you. Grow up," screeched Peridot. The green gem looked like a small child. Peridot ran into Pearl's arms, sobbing.

Pearl looked at her with scorn, "Connie, you're just too much."

The little twit still wasn't getting the clue. Garnet stepped forward.

"You need to leave **Now,** " ordered the leader.

What a mess. Garnet watched the little girl leave crying her stupid eyes out. Garnet saw a possibility that this might happen but the payoff was too great. After gathering Steven Garnet ordered her gems into the car. Greg watched numbly as they left.

Since everybody was too upset to drive Garnet drove the car. She stared stonily at the highway as they drove to the farmhouse.

"From now on we will stay at the farmhouse, no leaving under any circumstances. We will be in complete radio silence until the drill is operational is that clear?" ordered Garnet.


	7. Chapter 7

Captain Mitchell Riley watched the Humvee drive up to the Maryweather carrying the last survivors. The Falklands being a low lying set of islands was devastated out of a population of thousands they were only a handful left. Riley had seen a lot these days but nothing could prepare what came out of the Humvee. His men had indeed picked up two survivors but they were nothing like any survivors he had seen before.

There wrapped in blankets and wearing pajamas underneath were 2 teenagers clinging to each other. The boy looking 14 and human enough held on tightly to his girlfriend. The girl did not look human from what he could see she had bright green skin and what looked like a stone on her forehead.

"We found them at Iris Winslet's cottage sir," reported his first mate when he finally brought the couple on board.

"Well I can imagine what they were doing but I bet they weren't drinking tea," replied Mictchell dryly.

"Actually sir we were," said the boy shyly.

Puberty came to Steven in the Falklands but he did not feel like a man until a few days later. After destroying the Cluster, the drill had surfaced at the bottom of the ocean. After fusing to save Steven's life the pair found themselves washed up naked on a beach in the Falklands. Steven was groggy and dangerously cold so Peridot went straight to work building a shelter from some hay bales and some tarps nearby. When she was done she wrapped up Steven and her in a tarp together with the hopes of keeping him warm. His body reacted to the closeness of her and when he tried to pull away she simply clung to him. Their first time was awkward and embarrassing but after it was over Steven never felt as close to anyone before,

"Miss Peridot I believe you have just made a man out of me," said Steven in his deeper voice.

Their gems glowed and they merged to become Stevidot once again. The new fusion stood up on his own feet with a grim expression on his face.

"Okay we're wasting daylight. Time to find us a proper shelter," said the fusion.

Stevidot ran for hours until he found a small stone cottage. The tsunami had pushed the door off its hinges. The windows were broken by the force of the killer wave but it was better shelter than a pile of hay bales. As soon as Stevidot reached the doorway he separated back into Peridot and Steven.

Peridot now a young woman walked ahead of Steven into the cottage, stirring strange feelings in the young man.

"Alright then let's seal up this place and start a fire," she said in a businesslike fashion.

Inside was a sad state of affairs. The tsunami had pushed and broken all the furniture into one far corner. Not saying a word, the couple looked for anything salvageable. On the ground floor most of the stuff was waterlogged and broken. By some miracle the kitchen still had a few tins of food and a sink that ran water. Steven smiled when he saw a set of ruined stairs leading upwards.

"Hey Dot, I'm feeling rather sleepy let's head upstairs," he said with an exaggerated yawn.

His stomach chose that time to growl.

"Let's get something for you to eat first," she laughed.

After a quick meal of meat paste and canned fruit, the new couple climbed up the stairs. It was hard going as some of the steps were damaged. When they got to the top Peridot squealed in delight. The upper floor was intact. The first room they came to was the master bedroom with a charming handmade quilt on the bed. Upon seeing this Steven picked up Peridot bridal style and carried her to the bed.

"Let's keep each other warm tonight," he said seductively as he looked down at his lover.

He awoke next morning to Peridot shaking him gently. The gem now looked to be 14-years-old. Her hair hung loosely about her shoulders. She wore a cable knit sweater and a pair of pants that were too large for her.

"Get up Steven, I found some fuel cylinders nearby and I need your help," asked Peridot.

She handed him a bundle of clothes. As Peridot watched him dress she admired the handsome body her lover now had. Steven was a handsome, toned teenager now roughly chiseled but still very nice to look at.

After Steven helped Peridot lift and carry the oil tanks back to the house. He explored their little cottage as Peridot worked outside fitting the tanks back to the cottage. From what he could tell the cottage belonged to a young shepherding couple with a little girl about five. Steven did not like to think what happened to the family. While much of downstairs was ruined the furniture and electronics were intact in the upstairs where two bedrooms and a functional bathroom existed.

The next few days were like a surreal dream by daylight Steven and Peridot would search the ruined countryside for any supplies. When the sun set they would do their best to repair their little cottage. They put the doors back on, sealed the windows with plastic and even managed to get the gas stove and heaters working thanks to Peridot. By a roaring fire Steven would prepare a meal while Peridot fiddled with the radio and a cellphone. After dinner the couple would go upstairs and make love until they fell asleep. When Steven woke up in the mornings there would be Peridot fiddling with the contraption she made trying to reach anybody out there.

It ended soon enough. One morning he found Peridot standing outside looking at some tire tracks just outside the cottage.

"Somebody drove by here last night," she stated.

"That's great it means we soon might be rescued," he said happily.

"Not soon enough, we're running out of food. Steven I'm going to get some."

"Where?"

"From the sheep of course." The little technician ran towards the sheep. She started to chase then going this way and that.

Steven could hear her say, "Die, die, die your flesh belongs to the diamond authority!"

Steven laughed at the ridiculous scene before him. Peridot's little legs pumped furiously while the sheep being much faster than they looked raced ahead. There was no way that Peridot could even hope to catch a sheep.

Peridot caught a sheep. Using her razor sharp teeth, she messily killed the animal. It got worse as the little gem dismembered and butchered the carcass. Steven could only stare numbly in shock. As she brought the meat over to him smeared in blood she looked repulsive and strangely desirable at the same time.

"I'm tired. I having a bath and going to bed. You eat your sheep meat," said Peridot as she slumped off.

When he finished his meal, Steven found Peridot curled up in the bed. The young woman looked hot and feverish as she lay sleeping. The young man chastely kissed his lover's cheek, found some pajamas and fell asleep. When he woke next morning Peridot was still asleep clinging to him. As he pulled himself out of bed he awoke the gem.

"Steven I'm sorry, I'll just go to the barn and start building a generator," she said hastily.

"No Peridot you've been working too much. Stay inside, it's time I took care of you," Steven said.

Only the assurances of bringing back the tractor motor made Peridot promise to stay indoors. When Steven came back she started working on the motor while Steven used the failing batteries to work the radio set nearby. From what the boy could tell there was a US Maryweather nearby searching for survivors. He tried fiddling with the controls trying to contact them but had no such luck.

Later on during the day he awoke Peridot and prepared them tea.

As he poured a cup of tea at the newly rebuilt kitchen table Peridot looked up at him. "Steven our relationship has changed and I want assurances for the future."

He hugged his lover, "Don't worry I won't let Garnet or the others hurt you."

"It's not that, Steven. I want to know where do I stand."

Tears were in her eyes. The gem was truly terrified. Saying nothing Steven cupped her face and kissed her softly. Suddenly the doors burst open and soldiers came pouring into the cottage shouting orders. He could see the laser sites all pointed at Peridot as the soldiers tried to separate them. Grabbing onto her he summoned his shield.

"Stop! Don't hurt her," he shouted.

As the soldier rushed at them he formed his bubble around Peridot and himself. One of the soldiers let off his gun. His bullet pinging off the bubble. There was more shouting and confusion until the leader a thickset middle-aged man ordered them to stand down.

"Sorry we got off to a bad start my name's Commander Reed. I'm second in command at the Maryweather," The man went on to tell the couple about the battleship stationed at the Falklands during a series of tsunamis and earthquakes that rocked the world. How they were looking for survivors and sheltering them at the Maryweather until more help could arrive. He ended by inviting Steven and his strange lover back to the ship.

When they got to the Maryweather Steven and Peridot told their story about how Peridot was an alien trapped on Earth, about how Peridot and Steven's family built a drill to destroy a monster living at the center of the Earth and how Steven and Peridot drove the drill destroyed the monster and surfaced from at the bottom of the ocean. Then Steven told him about his family.

"They're probably very worried about us so if reach them and tell them we're fine that would be great," said Steven.

For the next few days the young man refused to leave Peridot's side even when the medical officer was examining the couple. They received a small room were Peridot slept most of the time. Steven never left her side even to go out to eat. The crew had to leave his meals right outside their door.

Steven had been taking a nap with Peridot when he heard a knocking at the door. The knocking became more insistent as Steven gingerly got up and walked towards the door.

"Dad, Pearl," Steven cried out. "How did you get here?"

Pearl smiled gently, "Hello Steven, a couple of gentlemen from the military told us your whereabouts. We took Peridot's pod and flew straight down as fast as we could."

"Are there any others with you?" asked Peridot sitting up on her bed.

"No but there is something we've been meaning to do for some time," answered Greg.

Peridot held Steven's hand as they watched Captain Riley marry Pearl and Greg in a quiet ceremony. The wedding took place in the reception room with a couple of Senior officers and Steven and Peridot acting as witnesses. Steven and Peridot clapped and cheered as Steven father and Pearl kissed. Wasting no time, the newlyweds packed up the youngsters and headed back to the barn.

"So Steven, you've ah grown. How did that happen?" asked Greg.

"I guess it just was the responsibility of saving the Earth," lied Steven.

"Well whatever the cause I'm glad to see you've matured. We'll be heading back to the barn. It's ruined but Amethyst has been arranging for a place for us to stay in town," said Pearl.

"What about Garnet?" asked Peridot fearfully.

"She's on her own," Pearl said coldly.

To Steven's delight they ended up at Connie's home without Garnet. At first the Maheswarans made an effort to be civil but as time went on Connie pursued him and Doug eves dropped in on Peridot's dreams when he could. Putting his foot down Steven put a lock on the hallway closet for Peridot. Connie finally got the clue when she caught Peridot and Steven kissing on their rooftop. It seemed like Steven's problems were done with.

That is until Peridot started wandering Beach City. One day she left with Amethyst and didn't return. When he went looking for her Steven found Peridot in Amethyst's room holding little Onion and a robinoid.

"Hey Steven, you better step it up. There's a rival for my affections," said Peridot jokingly.

The joke reminded him of his commitment to her. After all his father and Pearl got married. Didn't Peridot deserve some sign of his love? After wandering around town and doing odd jobs he finally found the perfect ring for her. It was a golden friendship ring.

More days passed, Peridot's robinoids rebuilt the town but Peridot still hadn't emerged from the temple. It took a TV program from the BBC to bring Steven to his senses. His girlfriend felt guilty for all the devastation caused and was killing herself trying to rebuild the world. The young man took his ring and marched down to the temple. It was time to seriously take care of the woman he loved.

The first order of business was to get Peridot to sleep when that was done he went back home to get clean clothes and some shampoo. When he left home the next morning he did not see Connie following him. When he and Peridot emerged from the temple a couple of hours later there was Connie waiting for him in the skimpiest outfit he had ever seen.

His plans for a date with Peridot was ruined first with Connie following them everywhere, then with Garnet trying to worm herself back into the fold and finally with the arrival of Malachite on the beach. The fusion when she appeared set her sights straight on Peridot. As soon as Malachite set foot on dry land she assaulted Peridot with a huge wave knocking her into the cliff. When Steven tried to stop Malachite he was rewarded with punch from a water limb. The look of shock on Malachite's face as she realized what she had done was tragic. As far as Malachite was concerned, there was no turning back.

Peridot of all things managed to drag Connie back to the temple. As Steven, Connie, Peridot and Garnet cowered in Steven's Rose Room, Malachite pounded in from outside. As they pounding became louder and louder Peridot realized that the only way to stop Malachite was to give her what she wanted.

Garnet had to hold Steven back as he witnessed Malachite snatch up and forcibly fuse with Peridot. His eyes widened in horror as the monstrous fusion Labradorite formed. It had eight limbs, mottled green and orange skin. The worst thing was that Steven could see signs of Peridot in there with her old hairstyle and visor. Then the thing began to scream.

In desperation Garnet punched the things legs but that was like a gnat attacking an elephant. Clearly a physical attack wasn't going to work. It was time to reach Peridot himself and together they would defeat Jasper. The problem was he couldn't be conscious. So Steven took a rock and started bashing the side of his head until he lost consciousness.

Steven found himself in a dark place. His body glowed an unearthly green. His plan had worked. Now he was linked with Labradorite's mind. Behind him he heard whimpering and saw a large form huddled on the floor.

The once powerful warrior was a pathetic shell of herself. Her form was ripped and torn like paper. What was left of her uniform hung in shreds. Clearly Jasper was not in control.

Wasting no time Steven raced away to find and rescue Peridot. In no time he found Peridot and Lapis Lazuli. Lapis wore a crown and dress made of shattered gems as she slashed viciously at Peridot with blades of water. An ugly snarl marred her face.

Peridot gave as good as she got. Looking like the day Steven first saw her Peridot fired her guns at the blue gem while an army of nightmare robiniods did their best to swarm Lapis. The fight was brutal their mindforms looking torn and tattered.

"No stop this! If this keeps up, you'll end up corrupted. I can't lose you," called out Steven.

"Steven stay back let me finish this," snarled Lapis.

"I wasn't talking to you."

A look of utter shock appeared on Lapis's face, "Steven you don't know who she really is. That low caste gem is Yellow Diamond's-"

"I don't care. Peridot you are the best and bravest technician I have ever seen. I don't care about your past or who you were. Your actions speak for yourself. You saved the world, swam though hot magma and nearly killed yourself trying to rebuild this world."

Ignoring Lapis he walked over to Peridot and placed the friendship ring on one of Peridot's floating fingers. "Peridot over the past few months I have come to value our time together. I want to make a commitment to you."

Gem language is cold a precise but Steven felt he got his feelings across.

"Steven are you proposing cohabitation?" whispered Peridot.

"Yes I am," replied the young man as he kissed her.

Lapis screamed in rage and hurt. Her form morphing, she made one last attack at the couple.

"Keep away from my cherished paramour." Peridot said as she shot Lapis with her hand cannon.

The next thing Steven remembered was that Peridot was holding a baby that looked like Malachite. The last thoughts he had before he poofed were now I have two girls to take care of.

When he awoke a day later he was in the hospital. As he dressed himself in the hospital gown provided he noticed how much he had changed. Steven was fully grown at a height of about 6 and a half feet tall. He was muscular and much hairier. As he stepped outside his family rushed to greet him.

"Peridot's just emerged too," explained Amethyst. "You gotta see her."

Later after his family left the couple. Steven gently kissed Peridot as she held the baby Malachite.

"Thank you for making a man out of me," he said.


End file.
